roads of life..

Well it has been several days since I have blogged last......

Life has been so busy... It seems the days never slow down but they always speed up... and to say the least, lately life has seemed to be just a bit overwhelming... I mean I'm sure many people could agree with that statement....

I am almost to the end of my fall semester and I cannot be more ready to be done.... I feel like finally I am getting closer and closer to then end of my college career. After December, I will only have a total of 14 semester hours of classes and then STUDENT TEACHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH... I feel like it has taken forever to get to this point, and I am still not there yet but I am so close... and still far away... It has def. not been without much perseverance... trial.... and much change in character to get to this point of my life... and God is still daily challenging me in more ways than one and I know that what he has in store will surpass anything that I have dreamed of....

Even though lately it seems that I have been fighting my dreams and my hopes and feeling as if they were to big... unreal... non existent.... but I know that in life sometimes it takes much trial to get to the place that God has called you to be. It takes much perseverance and much challenge..... Sometimes the lessons in life are hard.. Sometimes you don't always understand them. But I know lately I have been learning to just wait upon him.... For he has ordaned my every step... He has a plan and a purpose for my life.......
Over the past couple weeks I had found out that I was not in the Teacher Education Program yet at school, therefore I could not take any classes for next semester and the reason why, was becasue I didn't pass the Praxis I, but mind you my score was a 173 and you have to have a 174!!!!!!!!!1..... So I have to take it again.. pray I pass and pray they let me in next semester so I can choose classes, then I found out I was short 1200 for my trip to Paraguay... then I began to see some of my friends true colors come out... In these moments I felt completly lost... empty... alone.. forgotten... but then I stopped and was reminded that God's love... faithfullness.... hope.... far out reaches anything that this world has to offer... I found peace.. and hope in that moment and knew that God does not put me through anything that he does not think I can handle. I know that I am strong. My name means "Strong at Heart"... I truly believe that God has given me strength that I never knew existed....
I am ready for this new chapter.. change... new beginnings.... Being 22 now has given me another whole new outlook on life...

Journey

Well I just celebrated my 22 birthday and I still can't believe it. I just can't believe how fast time flies by. It seems like just yesterday I was moving to Tennessee and entering my sophomore year of high school. Now I am in my Senior year of college and about to enter the next biggest and greatest chapter of my life!

I don't know where the next years will take me but I know that my hopes and dreams are not to big to ask God... are not to big to dream and are not to big to hope. My brother always told me to never settle for second best but to ALWAYS wait and go for God's absolute best. Sometimes in life it is so hard to wait. It is so hard to not always know everything... TO know where you will be working.. who will you marry... where will you be in 5 years... and so on and so on... But yet everything is in God's perfect timing.

I know for me as I am getting older, I see my friends slowly gradutating and going their own way... getting engaged... married.. and starting a family of their own. Sometimes that reality is hard to face.. It's hard to think that I am at that place in my life. I don't have a significant other yet in my life, because I am holding out for God's best but sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I wish I just knew who i would be marrying, I wish I knew when I would meet him or if I have already met him. I wonder when that day will come. Sometimes it is lonley when I see all my friends around me with their significant others but then again it is also in those moments that I am reassured of the love of Christ and how is love far out stretches anything and anyone.....

I am excited about this next journey of my life. I am excited about where God is taking me and where I am going.... It is all about the jounrey..

frustrated...

So I'm just frustrated.sad.overwhelmed....

Sometimes it just seems things don't go as you though they would. Life just does not make sense. Its complicated. confusing..... and more than anything people are just not real anymore. They seem to be real and truthful in the beginning and then the next thing you know their true colors come out... or maybe it's just they don't know what they want......

Sometimes I honestly don't know what to think anymore..... people frustrate me... people say one thing and act another..... and now I'm just venting about it... .it just hit me today. and a situation has arised in my life where it has made me become more frustrated because the person is showing me they really don't know what they want....

I'm just learning to let go. move on. and be content. be content in who I am. and who I was made to be.

A Dream is a wish your heart can make...

Well today was a rather fun day for me. I actaully did something for my Fall Break, considering it is almost over and I had been doing nothing but sitting at home.... but that was perfect too....

Me.. my mom and Mrs. Kym who is basically my second mom ventured up to Knoxville to shop. which is most definitely my new found favorite place..... I would rather drive a little farther to go up there than stay here.... They have more and its just fun to get away and out of Cleveland sometimes... and today I just really needed to get away.. have some fun and just clear my mind...

I feel like my mind has been racing in a thousand different directions lately.... I think sometimes I think to much. over analyze. rush. and just react to soon. Maybe that comes from things in my life that have happened that makes me always think the negative. I don't really know, but today I had a lot of time to just reflect and think and take a step back and just look at the bigger picture. Look at what was really going on. what I was really thinking and feeling. It felt good to just stop and let go. To just know that in life whatever happens, happens for a reason. Sometimes we dont always understand it... or maybe most of the time we dont understand why things happen, but we must keep holding on to the dreams and the promises we have within us and know that one day the best is yet to come. God's timing is always perfect.... his timing is far better than ours.... I keep reminding myself that......

Sometimes it just seems that my dreams are so far away but yet I know they are so close...

I am not ready for this weekend to come to an end. Tomorrow is sunday and then its back to the grind on monday, having breaks sometimes just messes me up and gets me off track. .... Now I'm ready for Christmas Break. Honestly Im just ready to be done with college. Only 2 more semesters to go and then I am off into the teaching world. Thank the Lord...... so for now I hold on and finish the race strong......


I think I have rambled enough tonight.... tomorrow is a new day and the sun will shine again... tomorrow is a better day :)

Change.Seasons.Fall

Well today actaully felt like Fall out... Maybe even a little but of winter.... It was only a high of 50 all day. It was rather nice actaully.... So today was another day of Fall Break and I did nothing really. I have just been laying around...drinking coffee..watching movies...reading books... blogging.... family time....laughing... running... maybe a little homework here and there and thats really about all. It sounds like nothing but it could not be more perfect. I enjoy just relazing and taking time to breathe.....

I went running today and it was a perfect fall run. I have not been running as much as I would like because life has become so busy but today's run was great. I think I ran faster than I have run in a while. It was refreshing.... Running helps me to clear my mind.. to think... to dream...

I def. needed time to Run and think today.. lately I have had a lot on my mind.. Just about life.... direction... friendships... and everyday stuff.. I think that as seasons begin to change, so does the seasons in your life. Fall always makes me think of a time to be refreshed and renewed... To experince new adventures, new hopes, new dreams and be awakened on a new level.

It seems like so many things are beginning to change in life.. especially with my friends, so many of my friends are getting engaged....married... and having babies.... Here I am still waiting for the one to sweep me off my feet. Yet I know that one day I will meet him. For now I rejoice in the happiness and the changes of my friends and look forward to watching them unfold the next chapter of their lives and begin a new chapter.. a new family and a new story! I will wait with great expectation, knowing that the best is yet to come not only for me but for my family as well. I know that all things will work for the good of those that love the Lord.

just a day...

Today is just one of those days..........

thinking.... wishing... dreaming.... and hoping........

and so my FALL BREAK BEGINS...

"On a Night Like This"........

Well "FALL" has Finally arrive and I could not be more happier :) Today was absolutly a beautiful day... I woke up this morning to it being only 45 degrees out and the high was only about 70.. Could not of been more perfect! There is just truly something about the fall season. It is like a breath of fresh air.... I love when new seasons arrive in your life. Because in every season you grow and learn. You learn to let go, live and love a little harder....

I love everthing about fall.. from pumpkins,coffee, sweatpants, sweatshirts, bonfires, cornmazes, family time, chai tea, reading, snuggling and just the simple joys that fall brings a long with it.

Me and my sister were talking today and saying how there is just something about the fall season and wanting to find that significant other or wanting to fall in love... It just seems so right... I was listening to Dave Barnes today and he is the perfect for a day like today... One of my favorite songs is "On a night like this"... On a night like this I could fall in love.. I could fall in love with you.... Its just a great song... and I love me some dave barnes...

So I had to babysit today... It was good, I have missed my little man.. he was really sick last week. So we had some fun today. After I took him home, I decided to go for a run. Can I just say that it was beautiful out. The temp was dropping as I was running and I never felt so much energy. I was tired going into the run, but by the end I was running farther and faster than I have in a long time. It was one of my best runs that I have run and it felt amazing! When I run, I just feel free. Free to be me in every aspect and in everyway. Running just makes me feel good and keeps me healthy and fit!!

So overall it was really a great day, I also had to give a lesson in my math class... That was rather exciting, and interesting but all went well. :)

I am really looking forward to the rest of this week and all that is taking place :) There are some exciting things taking place!!! I think I am just really loving life right now and all that is to come in this beautiful fall season

Perseverance....Faith...Surrender...

well for once the sun was shining again after having rain since friday.............. It felt good to see the sun shining... Since it was so brihgt and sunny this morning, I decided to go for a run... I ran my 4 miles in beautiful "fall" like weather lol and it felt amazing :) When I run there is truly a sense of freedom that I feel..... its my time with God... Some people may think I'm crazy cause i pray out loud a lot sometiems but hey you know what.. thats ok......ha ha

So as I was running today and talking to God and just thinking about life..... I realized how sometimes when I am running I am completely and utterly exhausted and I just want to stop..... Then when I get close to finishing my run I sometimes have the urge to stop before the finish line becasue I am so tired and I just want to give up and stop.. I thought about that long and hard today and i thought how that applies so much to our everyday lives.

There are so many times when we just want to completely give up and not finish the race, we find it to hard, overwhelming, discouraging, but yet we are supposed to run with perseverance, faith, determination and a will power to be an overcomer. If we just so easily give up in a simple run and don't cross the finish line why would we push ourselves in a real situation..... So today I almost quit and I told myself NO... I will finish this run because I know that I can do all thngs through christ who strengthens me. So I pushed myself even farther than I usually go. I was exhausted but I knew that I could keep going, I knew that I had endurance left.... But I had to push... I had to persevere.... I had to believe in myself. So I did and it felt great. At that moment I thought about my life circumstances and how I must push myself in every area. I must continue to have the faith that will move mountains... to believe that throught the storms.. through the struggles of life I may be stretched.. I may be challenged but in the end the reward will be so much greater.. The fight.. the battle.. the race.. will all be worth it in the end...

The other day I was sharing at my bible study and sharing my story as well as encouraging a friend and I used this scripture... It is so powerful and applies so well to my life as well as others..

.In James 1:2-5 it says "Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.... Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial because when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him."

When I read this scripture I am brought back to my knees and to the days of crying out for God and completely trusting him in every area and knowing that my life is in his hands and he has every plan ready for me but I must be willing to wait.. I must be willing to sacrifice. I must be willing to surrender.... God is a sovereign God and I am in awe of his amazing love, mercy and grace that is new every morning! For greater things are yet to come in this city.. in my family.. in my life... and in my future........

The seasons are beginning to change and the leaves are beginning to fall......

Well today is oficially the first day of Fall and I could not be more excited. Fall is my absolute favorite season. I love everything about it, not to mention I am a fall baby.... :) November... YEA!!!! And how I also dream of possibly getting married in the Fall. I mean I think it would be such a pretty time of year with the leaves changing, the crisp cool air and the fact that your life is about to change as you enter a new season. It seems to fit. But who knows when I will get married or in what season....... First I need Prince Charming..... wherever he might be I DON"T KNOW!!!! :) lol... but someday my prince will come!!

There is just something about the feel of the fresh air, the changing of leaves, the coolness of temperarture, sweatshirts, sweatpants, bon fires, snuggling, coffee, blankets, stories, family time, laughter, change, and just a season of new beginnings. It's a time to just begin a new and fresh start and to learn to enjoy the simple things in life. To laugh even when you want to cry, to smile even when you feel you cant and to love and be loved!

Lately I have just been thining about a lot and of course as Fall is approaching I am really looking forward to the new season of my life that God has for me. I know that every step I take is ordained by him and that his perfect timing will fall into place for direction in my life. ........I'm daily learning to surrender everything to him, my wants, desires, dreams and trust him in every area of my life. Sometimes it is hard... sometimes I just want the answers... Sometimes I don't understand... But I do know that he has a plan and a purpose for my life. Plans to prosper me and not to harm me. Plans to give me a hope and a future.. Jeremiah 29:11..........

Also another thing lately that has been something amazing in my life is my family. I have always had a close family... But even more so I have learned some true values of what family is and how they are always and forever there for you no matter what. They love you for you.... and would do anything and everything for you. They hurt when you hurt.. they cry when you cry.. they cheer when you cheer... they love when you love.. they praise when you praise...... they encourage.... and they never leave your side... My brother and his wife moved in with us in July after being apart from them for a year. It has been the abosulte best gift I could ever receive... I have always dreamed of the day my brother married and having not only a sister but a best friend. I feel that with Emily.. She does not even know I'm writing this... She is sittin on the other couch right now.. ha ha... but Emily I love you more than you could ever possibly imagine. You make me laugh and bring joy to my heart every single day. I feel like we have been sisters/friends forever. It is the best gift I could ever receive, is having you in my life. Thank you for being YOU! I LOVE YOU <3

Rain.. Rain... go away come again another day...

OK so it has been raining cats and dogs since Friday... I am getting just a little tired of this rain.
When it rains it just seems to put you in a mood of not wanting to do anything but just lay around... drink coffee... read... and relax.. which that sounds amazing but at the same time there is just so much to do and not enough hours in the day to do it.

Sometimes the rain is peaceful and brings you to a place of just thinking and dreaming... thinking of life and the simple things that bring a smile to your face.

Rainy days are also a perfect day to watch movies. For example me and my siter-in-law are watching TWILIGHT.... I mean do I need to say more, this rainy day is a perfect day to be watching twilight.. which I can't wait for New Moon to come out....

And now I am debating on whether to skip my next class or stay home. I just don't feel like going and sitting for an hour lecture, when he does not even take attendence. I mean be real, it just seems pointless and not to mention we don't have any tests in the class, just 4 papers that you do all on your own!!! So Class= a No for today :)

Somtimes instead of waiting for the storm to pass you must learn to get our there and dance in the rain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes it seems like it's always raining....

Well it has been a while since I blogged.... Life has just been crazy busy. Sometimes I feel as if life can be a rollercoaster, a rollercoaster highs, lows, and inbetweens. It's as if it is always raining... and yet you ask yourself will I ever see the sunshine again? But yet through every storm you always find a way to see the sunshine, even if it is in the littlest and simplist things of life!

So I have been trying to get back in to the swing of college classes once again.... And its going pretty well. I am FINALLY a SENIOR so that is exciting. I only have 3 semesters left and then I will be entering the real world of teaching which I am utterly thrilled about, I honestly can't wait to be in my own classroom. It will be the next chapter of my life :) However as of now, I am excited about all the adventures that are still ahead of me.

I am learning to just continue to trust God in all things, even when the road gets bumpy and complicated, everything will work out in God's perfect timing. Not our timing. Its in those hard moments and times when you are challenged, stretched, broken, changed and made whole again. It is in those moments when you just learn to dance in the rain. I have had some tough moments latley. I got a bad report from my doctor about my liver disease, after I had just gotten a good report, I knew it was simply just an attack from the enemy. Even though I really just wanted to give up, because I felt like I was heading back to square one, and its been 3 years since I have been on this journey that I did not want to go back. So instead I decided to press through, I decided to press on even though I didn't really wanted to, even though my flesh just wanted to quit I knew that I must press on, I must keep that faith alive and I must know that God has a plan and a purpose for my life and that every step I take is ordained by him. Every road I travel is ordained by him. My life is in his hands, and I know that he has promised me my complete healing. That I will prophecy and share my testimony to thousands one day as everyday I am fighting is another testiment of faith to so many people around me, people that I don't even know.
I know that God is only preparing me for something greater, something that he knows that I can handle. So more than anything I encourage you to press on, to press on in any storm, any fight, any failure, any mistake, any sorrow. Keep Pressing. Press on until you breakthrough. God is there, and it is worth the fight, just remember you are never alone, God is always with you wherever you go. Be strong and Courageous in the Lord!

Hinds Feet on HIgh Places...............Psalms 18:33

Well it has been several days since I have been on here..... It has just been one of those weeks and weekends.....

I feel like I am in one of the lowest valleys of my life. I have been reading this woman's devotional book called Hinds Feet on High Places. It is an allegory and it pretty much tells the story of my life... so in this book it talks about the valleys, mountains, and things in life that you will struggle with, encounter, fight, war, overcome and eventually you will reach the high places.

It is just a really awesome devotional..... you should check it out!

In a couple weeks it will be 3 years since i was diagnosed with a Liver disease. I literally came to death's door and the doctor's didn't know if I would live or not. But I knew that my God was bigger and no mountain or valley was to big for him. During this time, God challenged me in every area and aspect to my life. he stretched my faith beyond my imagination. He spoke a word over my life and said that I must surrender everything to him, my dreams, hopes visions, pain, hurt and to let Jesus love me and be my friend. The plans that God has for my life may not go as I would hope or think but that they would surpass all my dreams but I must surrender my will and submit to God.
so this has been a long and hard 3 year journey for me and my family. In one second my life was turned upside down and I did not what to think, how to feel or even if I would understand. But I am still here today, alive and stronger than ever, there is no cure for what I have but I know that I will see my 100% healing, I know that God will continue to be faithful in every way.
I have learned so much over this journey not only about myself, but about life. My relationship with God has been strengthen in so many ways and I have grown so much. It may have been and still is the hardest thing I am overcoming but it is so worth it.

So this brings me to where I am at today.... This sickness is a mountain in my life. that I am climbing and that I am OVERCOMING daily.... however a long this journey I have had many valleys and still do sometimes because God is still daily working in my life and shaping me to be that Godly young woman he has called me to be. I have still had to learn the lesson of surrendering everything to him. It's not about what I want, but it's about what God wants.

It seems as of lately there has been so valleys and low points in my life but My mom told me once when you feel the lowest, when you feel the farthest from God it is when you are the closest. It is so true. Cause in the midst of this storm of my life I feel so close to God.

For I know that he will never leave me or forsake me. I know that the best is still yet to come. There are days that I just want to give up, but I know that I must keep pressing on, I must continue to climb this mountain and these valleys because what is on the other side is far greater than what I can see right now.

I know that there are things in my life right now and circumstances that I just need to let go of and move on. Sometimes we have to let go of the things that we love most, or things that are keeping us from fulfilling the promises and the calling of God on our life. It's not easy and most of the time it is not what we want to do. But submitting to God's will is obedience. through obedience we will see the bigger picture. Instead of just seeing what we want to see.

So I know that i am almost to my high places, to the places that God has called me to. I am excited to watch God begin to unfold the next chapters of my life. Even when I am at my weakest he gives me strength to soar with eagles wings.

Even as I am sharing my valleys and low points I say to myself and to you. Trust God no matter when. even in your deepest darkest hour God is there. He sees every tear you cry, and hears the very cry of your heart. He knows you inside and out. He will make a way where there may seem to be know way. He has loved you with an everlasting love and has called you by name. He knows how many hairs our on your head. He knows when you sit and when you rise. Never doubt. Always hope and always Believe. Believe that you can be changed. Believe that God knows the very hour and the very place. It will happen in his timing not ours..........

Pslams 18:33 and Hab 3:19
"The Lord maketh my feeth like hinds feet and setheth me upon mine high places"

Throughts from my weekend....

Well I finished my first week of summer school. 1 down and 2 1/2 more weeks to go. It was really not that bad. It is very fast paced which I like, and you seem to learn more and easier. I think it will be good.
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I just keep telling myself that it is one step closer to graduation, when I hear that, then I know in the end summer school will be all worth it.... Only 3 more semesters and i will be on my way to teaching. I am just so excited about being able to finally teach on my own and pour into the lives of children as so many have poured into my life. I want to be that Godly example that the kids see. I am excited to see where God takes me and how the next chapter of my life will unfold.

So my weekend has been wonderful. Last night we spent some time with the Bentley's and then us girls went to a Lingerie shower. It was lots of fun. its crazy to see my friends getting married. Time is just flying bye right before my eyes. It was cool to think that one day I will get to look forward to all those showers and exciting times for planning a wedding....

Well I just wanted to blog a little before bed. It has been a long day. Spent it with my lovely mom :) Looking forward to a great day tomorrow and a awesome week ahead.

Always my Mother... Forever my Friend..

Well first of all Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mom's out there, but especially my mom.

As I was in church this morning and he was reading the passage in Proverbs 31 that talks about the character of a noble wife and mother. It got me thinking about what my mom truly means to mean and how so many times in our day to day life we take things for granted. There are not enough words to express what my mom means to me. I love her with everything within me. She is not only my mother but my best friend. When I look at my mom, I see so much of myself in her :)

My mom has done a phenomonal job at raising me and my brother. She has not only been mom, but dad, and friend. She has such strength about her. I know sometimes she does not even see it or realize it but she does. I look up to her and admire her for the woman of God that she is. I thank her for the way she has raised me and brought me up. Maybe there have been times when I didn't want to hear what she had to say or was on opposite ends of thinking but in the end there was always truth in what she spoke. The words of wisdom she has spoken, the prayers she has offered up, the tears she has cried, the laughs she has shown, the encouragemnt she gives and the love that she daily shows truly reflects the mother, friend and woman of God that she is. I love her for her. She is beautiful on the inside and out. She makes me laugh and smile everytime I see her. She brings joy to my heart.

My prayers is that one day I will be half the mother to my children that she has been to me and my brother.

It's overwhelming to think that I am now 21, at that age where in the next couple years I could be married then entering into the next chapter of my life and then one day becoming a mother of my own. It seemed like just yesterday I was a little girl swinging in your arms and playing in the sand. My how time has flown. But don't ever doubt everything that you have instilled in my from the time I was born was worth every bit of it.

MoM... I love you. Thanks for being my mom and friend. You are an amazing woman of God. never doubt who you are. You have an awesome heart. Keep pressing on and believing that God's best is yet to come. Doors that no man can open but God will open. Our family is in his hands. He loves you more than you know and so do I. Thanks for everything that you are, everything you do and for helping to shape me into the woman that I am today. I would not be who I am if it was not for your prayers, devotions, challenges, tears, laughs, and most of all love. First Mother and Daughter and always Best Friends Forever.........

Somewhere over The Rainbow

Well SUMMER is finally here. I took my last final today and I can say that it feels good to be done. It is a season of goodbyes and new beginnings. There have been some bittersweet moments. My Best Friend graduates this year and I feel a bit of sadness in realizing how fast time is flying bye.

I am glad that I will finally be in the final stretch of my college career. I am only 3 semesters away from finally fulfilling my life long dream of becoming a teacher. I can't wait to be in a classroom with my students and pouring into their lives and watching them grow into extraordinary men and women.

There are even some overwhelming feelings of the fact that every second of every day is flying by right before my eyes. I have come to a place where I just don't know what to think or sometimes don't even understand the circumstances going on around me. I know that their our times in our life or most of the time that we are not supposed to understand but just continually trust God in all things. But there are some things that I wish I knew the answers to. Sometimes it seems that the situations or the things in my life that i know are supposed to be there are so close but yet so far away. Maybe the other side does not see it, however I see it in a different way and it is so hard sometimes to hold on. There are days I just want to give up because I feel I have been pushed so far, so far that i don't know how I would get back. I don't know what to think or believe except to believe what i know in my heart and what I feel. In the midst of it all I somehow seem a way to push through and make it back to the top, even if it takes forever, I know that in the long run the best things in life are sometimes worth waiting for even if you have to release them first they will eventually come back to you.

I will push through the rain and the storms and see the sunshine. I know that what is on the other side is far greater than what is going on right now. Sometimes you have to get out there and dance in the rain instead of waiting for the storm to pass......

The other day i thought of the song Somewhere over the rainbow and I read the words and expresses in some ways how I feel...



Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?


Somewhere over the rainbow my dreams, hopes and visions are there. Sometimes it calls for waiting. sometimes it calls for pressing on. In all things my trust and hope is in God. I know the best is yet to come in all things :)

Trust

It seems as of late all my posts are me expressing how somedays my life just feels like a roller coaster. I'm just so ready for school to be over it's not even funny. This next week is my last full week of classes and then I enter into FINALS!! But hey it is one step closer to Summer....... Then its off to have some fun while working

I feel there is so much going on that some days I can't even seem to catch my breath, or just stop and rest. My body, mind and emotions are tired. I am coming to the end of the ropes. So more than ever I am holding on to Jesus because I know in him I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Sometimes it seems that it would be so much easier if Life was just simple, but it never can be simple. But without struggles who would we be, without mountains where would we go. In everything we learn lessons, sometimes the hard way sometimes we get the easy way out. Sometimes I feel as if everyday I am learning more and more lessons. But the one that is always there in my life is to continue to trust God and have complete Faith in him. To never doubt him, his word, his judgement, but to heed to his instruction even if it is not what we want. Even if we think we have it figured out we must continue to rely on him. All the pieces of the missing puzzle of our lives will slowly but surely fall into place, in his timing, not ours. Sometimes thats a hard place to be. Sometimes you don't know where to go or what to do. But all you have to do is rest in his arms and he will wrap his loving arms around you.
One of my favorite songs is by Hillsong Live "The Desert Song" in the bridge it says "All of my life in every season you are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship" this is so true in so many ways. In every season, the good, the bad and the in betweens he is ALWAYS AND FOREVER there in the exact moment and time that you need him. Remember that!

Finish The Race

Do you ever just have those moments in time when all you can do is it in the silence and listen to God? Thats where I am right now. Just sitting....listening... and waiting upon him...

It seems as of late there is just so much going on in my everyday life, that I don't just sit and listen.

Im about to enter whirlwind of finals, papers, exams, stress and trying to finish strong. I could easily let myself just get stressed or worried but I know that God is on my side and i will come out on top. Without him I am nothing.

It seems the storms of life are raging all around me but i will keep pressing on because I know that greater things are yet to come. maybe I cant see it but I feel it.

My God is a big God and nothing is to big for him to handle. Dream big, far and wide.

I am a runner, when I get to a point where I feel like quitting, which is usually close to the end, I relate it to my everyday life situations. I think about the struggles of life, the ups and downs, and all the in betweens and I think to myself that I would not just give up in the middle, I would not just say ok Im done and walk away, But I would finish the race that God had set before me and i would finish it stronger and better than ever. so when I feel like giving up I place my struggles in front of me and i war and I fight with them until I get to the finish line, because I am an overcomer and will not be defeated. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

so if nothing else, be encouraged and know that you can finish the race and finish it strong. Don't give up and don't look to the left or to the right............

Back to reality....

Well tonight is oficially my lastnight of Spring Break. I just got back from Florida. I spent this past week in Sarasota Florida with my family and friends. It was a really great week. I am sad to be back. Everytime I go to Florida and come back, I find myself having withdrawls and feeling really empty. It's as if everytime we come back to Tennessee we are saying goodbye to everything that is familiar and welcoming and coming back to a place of being alone. But yet I know that this is where God has called us to be for this time. I know it is not permanent but for now this is where were supposed to be. So I have learned to make the best of it and instead of dwelling on the negative, look at all the good that has come and that is still to come.

I had a great time at the Beach for a week with my brother and sister-in-law , mom ,aunt and unlce. It was a great time of laughs, stories, memories, fun and fellowiship. It was good to just get away and enjoy being with family and a carefree and stress free week. Florida is my home and will always be my home. It is where I grew up and where my story began. I love the Beach. I love the feeling of sand between my toes and sunkissed skin :) Overall it was a wonderful week!

Now it is back to reality... back to school... back to everday life... which in fact I am just not quiet ready for. It seems like Spring Break needs to just be a little longer. I am just so ready for Summer, so ready for school to come to an end. So ready to just enjoy being carefree again.... Im ready for lazy days in the hammock, basking in the sun and drawing closer to the heart of God. that is where I want to be..... .

Every season brings change.....

Well I have not been on here in a while. I have been trying to get back into the swing of school and my life has been busy. There is just no time to even breath.......

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? scared? uncertain? Hungering for something more, feeling dry, and desperate. Lately I have just been thinking about life and about where I have been and where I am going. I just feel so dry some days, I feel like I have nothing left to give. I know that God is there and with me in every step I take, but sometimes I feel so far from him but yet I know that I am so close.
There are just days and moments when I long for something more....

When I am at my weakest, God is my strongest. He gives me strength to face each day, he gives me the hope and ability to be a better person. He loves me for me and sees the real me.

Lately I find myself feeling down, feeling like there is something missing. I miss my family. I miss my brother. I miss the way life used to be. I miss the carefree days of fun, sun, surf, sand between my toes, children laughing and being surrouded by family. I miss those days.

Yet I know life brings changes, I know that in every journey, in every trial of life God stretches us, teaches us and through these expereinces we grow to be the person he has created us to be.
So even through the hard times I always try to find the good out of them, I try to find GOd in everything and see what I am learning and how it will change me. Maybe at the time I don't see it but I know in the end when I cross that finish line everything will fall into place. God has prepared me for such a time as this.

Don't give up and don't loose hope. I remind myself that often, even in the little things of life. Hold on to the dreams and the promises that God has given you. For greater things are yet to come in my life and your life.

"Baby it's cold outside"

Well this morning when I woke up, I had the wonderful pleasure of experiencing 8 degree weather. It was so cold this morning that it was painful to step outside. The wind chill factor was way in the negatives. I usually walk to class, however this morning when i stepped outside, I knew there was no way that I could walk to my class, so I drove. I mean I love the seasonal change here in Tennessee, but that is way to cold for my liking. Especially for the fact that we get no snow, so there is absolutely nothing to do but freeze to death. Also every other school in the district even all the way to Chattanooga got canceled, however Lee University did not get canceled. I guess it was ok for college kids to walk in the bitter cold. LOL

At least I only had one class today! But when I got to my class my professor was not even there, we had a fill in, so really it was a pointless class. So i spent the rest of the day with my roomie just laying around and watching movies, listening to music and taking naps. It was a very relaxing and lazy day. a day to just stay inside and keep warm. Sometimes those are my favorite times. The times when I am alone, and it is nothing but quiet and all I can hear is the still small voice of God. It is when I feel at peace, when I feel that even through the rain and the storms of life somehow God always lets the sun shine brighter than ever. Every day is a new day, a new day to rejoice, smile, laugh and look forward to all that is to come. To press on even when you don't want to. I think I am beginning to get overwhelmed with school. Thinking about all that I have to do and all that is to come, but then I stop and I just sit and rest. I think that nothing is to big for God, nothing is to big for me because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil. 4:13.

First Day

Well today was my first day back at classes. What a day it was. To start my day off I went to the wrong class. So even at 21 and a junior in college I still sometimes go to the wrong class. LOL... The class i went to that was incorrect, was a class I am taking for my cross cultural trip this summer, however there are 2 different sections of the class. One the first half of the semester and one the second half, well mine is the one that does not start until march. So I just sat in class and acted cool this morning while the professor was talking and then as they got into groups I quietly slipped out as if it was no big deal. So that was definitely the highlight of my day. Then i went on to my next class which people say she is a hard teacher and did not like her, she may be hard but I think that I am going to like her. i seem to like her personality. We shall see. Then my last class for the day was a personal finance class that only lasted 5 minutes long. To say the least my day was not to bad and was a pretty easy day.

i guess it was a good way to start the semester off. i got to see all my girls again tonight. It was good to reconnect and catch up from break. It was 20 degrees this morning walking to class and tomorrow is supposed to bd 9 degrees so I am truly looking forward to that!! Well now that i have rambled on and on about my day i am getting off and heading to bed to spend some time with God. I leave with Zephaniah 3:17. don't look to the left or right. Look straight ahead to the promises and dreams that God has given you. Run hard after him. run hard after the prize that God has set before you. You will be amazed at what unfolds before your eyes.

BELIEVE!

Today was an exciting day but at the same time there were some down falls to it as well. After being home for almost a month and half I headed back to campus today and said goodbye to my mom. It never seems to be easy to say goodbye to my MoM. I had a wonderful break and holidays with my mom and a great last weekend with her as well. My mom is my best friend, my other half, my partner in crime and not being with her is like having a piece of me missing. I know it is a lot harder for her being in an empty house with no kids and being so far away, but I know that God embraces her and holds her ever so close in his arms and brings her the peace, comfort, joy and love that nobody but God can give. But tonight as I sit in my apartment in my room, I am missing her. missing home. Missing where I have been, missing what is familiar, missing family. But I know that God is right here with me and when i am weak he gives me strength to face the next day. Every step I take is one step closer to him. As tomorrow is my first day of the new semester, I know that it is going to be the best semester yet because God is behind me all the way just like always. For in jeremiah 29:11 it says "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. PLans to give you a hope and a future" I know that my future is brighter than any sun has ever shinned and that when i keep holding on I will see the dreams and the visions that I have in my heart unfold before my eyes. I have enjoyed being able to be back with my girls. My friends mean a lot to me and it is fun to have some good laughs and good times together. I cherish the moments we share. I look forward to many more throughout this semester. This is a new season a new year. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT ONE YEAR CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE? I DO! I am ready to walk in that change and see that change.......

Half my heart will always be in Florida!

Well 9 hours later i arrived back home to Tennessee after being in Deland, Florida for the past 4 days. It was very bittersweet leaving this morning and saying goodbye to friends. I feel a sense of emptiness tonight as we pulled into the drive way. I know that Tennessee is my home. But Florida is also my home. There is something familiar about it and something special about being back where My life story began. I really miss the fellowship at church and just some best friends from long ago. It was such a refreshing weekend. A weekend that was much needed. It was a great way to end my Christmas Break!! I feel like I have been gone for a long time though. On the way home, me and my mom were talking. even though the trip coming home did not seem real long or that bad, I feel like we are so far away from Deland and so far from friends, family and everything. The trip was amazing. I loved the warm weather and the feeling of "Home". I feel like God grabbed a hold of me while I was down there and placed my feet on the path that he is taking me down and the doors he is beginning to open up. I am really excited to get this year into gear and press through to the places that i will go and the things that I will do. I love one of the lines from the Desert song by Hillsong " All of my life in every season, you are still God, i have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship. That truly says it all for me. So with that said. My weekend was good not only with family and friends but with an amazing mom as well. She is one of a kind and i love her with every ounce of my being. Thanks mom for all you do. You are my forever best friend. I LOVE YOU!

Rain falls like Fire........

So I just got back from my "Home" church, First Assembly of God in Deland Florida. God opened the flood gates of heaven and poured out his spirit tonight. The guest speaker, Pastor BoB Fisher had a very annointed message. I felt God so strong tonight, as I was praying I felt like I was on fire. God fell upon me tonight in a mighty way. I had a word spoken over my life tonight and it was at just the right time and was a word that I needed to hear. God is just awesome. I am in awe of his greatness and love. Without him I am nothing. He is my strength when I am weak, my shelter, my friend, my father, my love, my hope, my redeemer, savior, my comfort. I am my beloveds and he is mine. in him I live and move and breath. He is the very essence of my being. every step I take is one step closer to the dreams and visions that are before me. To the promises and hopes that i have. I am beginning to watch the beautiful tapestry unfold before my eyes of what God is doing in my life. The best is yet to come. This is my year. This is the year. I believe!

SunShine brightens the way.......

I woke up this morning to the Beautiful Florida sunshine and the 75 degree weather. It could not of been a more perfect morning. My mom and me went into downtown Deland and went to our favorite Coffee Shop "Boston Gourmet". I think I was in heaven when I walked in there. As i walked the streets of downtown Deland, once again memories just began to flood my mind, some even overwhelming but in a good way too... Then I drove into Orange City and Deltona first of all was very weird for me because when I left there I was not driving yet so it was my first time actaully driving where I grew up my entire life. I knew my way perfectly. It was as if I never left. It was very overwhelming, since it was the first time back in 6 years. I had many waves of emotions come over me. I began to think about my childhood and all the good memories that I had, I began to think about "My Story". I began to see how God truly takes every piece of our lives from the time we were born and intricately pieces them together to create a beautiful tapestry. It blows my mind how God is just so amazing. So I went into Orange City to see my long time friend Mark. It was a perfect day. I could not of asked for better. Mark has been one of my closest and best guy friends for the past 8 years. When I moved to Tennessee we kept in touch and have kept the friendship going. He is an amazing man of God. I am so proud of the person that he has become and so glad I can call him my friend. I am excited to see what this new year brings my way!
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Home is Where Your Heart Is

Well me and my mom arrived in Deland Florida today. For the first time since I have left Florida, I truly feel like I cam back "Home". I was always the one that said I would never come back here and felt Tennessee would always be my permanent home, but I am not so sure I feel that way anymore. I am not saying I would definitely move back to Florida, but being here for less than 24 hours has already made me realize how much I truly miss "family" and "friends". I miss having a home church, a safe haven. I miss fellowship. I miss the bonds that were mad. I miss old friends. It just made me realize how much of an impact your friends and family truly have on your life. They have helped to shape and mold the woman of God that I am today. As we were on our wat down here I began to think to myself that Florida will always truly be my "HOME". It is where My Story began. It is where my life started. It is where my friendships were first created, where my childhood began. It is apart of me and always will be. I really believe that "Home is Where Your Heart Is". A part of my heart will always and forever be in Florida. Who knows what is in store or what God has planned. I am excited to see this year unfold before my eyes. I know that God has shown himself so faithful to me these past 2 years and is daily showing me more. As I walk daily in him. I listen to his still small voice. I know that the best is still yet to come for me and my family. Wherever you go in life and whatever you do, never forget where you came from and who you are. You don't need to live in dwell in your past. But your past defines and shapes who you are as a person but you are not your past. I have seen that so much with coming back to Florida. So don't regret or be ashamed of who you are or where you came from because it is all apart of the big plan that God has for your life. The very intricate map that he has layed out for each and everyone of us! Hold on to every dream and don't loose sight of who you are in him.

Dancing in The Rain

So I am new at this whole blogging thing. But I like the idea of just being able to write my thoughs and feelings. It's been rather rainy here today. I am just so sick of the rain. Sometimes the rain can be peaceful but after a few days it can also get depressing. Me and my mom are headed to Florida in the morning. A little refreshing trip before I head back to college. I am looking forward to this little adventure. I am going back to my"hometown" so it is rather exciting! I am ready for some sunshine, friends, family, laughter and fun. It has been 6 years since I have been back to my hometown, so there have been floods of memories and emotions over the past few days. I told my mom this the other day but its as if I feel like we are really going "home". I usually would not say that but this time is different. It's a great way to begin the New Year. I am ready for this year. It is a New Season, a New Chapter, to Live, Laugh Grow and Love. I am excited to see all that God has in store. Even through the rain I always find God's little rays of sunshine. I have truly learned sometimes instead of waiting for the storm to pass you just have to get out there and dance in the rain!