I am uncertain of where to begin from.
As I look outside the window, I see the snow gently falling from the sky.. It makes me only dream and wish of the impossible. It makes me believe. Makes me believe in those moments that no one else will believe in.
What is it about snow that makes Christmas feel magical? What is it that makes you want to snuggle up with the one you love as you sit and watch the snow fall... What is that makes the snow seem so pure, innocent and free... What is it that makes snow so beautiful in every form... What is it that makes me love the snow...
I can't believe today is already December 12... only 13 more days until Christmas... where has the time gone.. I really don't know.
Lately my mind has been bombarded with many emotions and feelings that I have been uncertain of what to do with...
Last year at this time, I found myself surrounded by 30 kids....spending my nights on a bench looking at the stars and talking to the one person who truly holds the key to my happiness.....spending my days working and playing with kids....shopping in markets.... drinking tons of Guarna...... and eating some awesome food....making lasting memories with some amazing people.... and allowing God to touch the very depths of my heart and soul.... Last Year I found myself in Asuncion, Paraguay.... Tonight I wish i was back there again...
It is truly hard for me to grasp that a year has passed. Where does the time go.....Not only is it a year later, but I am a year into dating my best friend, my soul mate and just a few short months away from finishing my undergrad college experience :) WOW....
This past Wednesday was the official year mark for me and Tyler, along with a year since we went to Paraguay. Throughout this year there has been many ups, downs, twists, turns, accomplishments, disappointments, challenges, new beginnings, new hopes, new dreams, and so much more. It has been a year of enduring and learning what it truly means to Love. Learning what it means to be in a relationship with the one you love, with the one that has captured every part of your heart and soul. The one who just has to look at you and it literally lights up your life.
It was a year of tears and laughter. A year of good days and some bad. Through it all I have learned so much about myself. I have been stretched on every angle, I have been challenged and changed and the absolute best has been brought out in me.
I have learned how to love and be loved. I have learned how to let go and to be free. I have learned how to run hard after your dreams. I have learned to be all that you can be, to not doubt myself. I have learned to see beyond the "little window pane" but to look through the "entire window" to see the big picture....
I am thankful. I am thankful for this past year to be with my best friend, to learn how to love and how to be loved. To learn that God truly did hear every prayer I prayed, every tear I cried and every hearts desire I ever had. God has blown me away with his amazing faithfulness. Tyler I love you. I love you today, tomorrow and forever. We have learned a lot together and grown more than I thought. I am looking forward to all the years that are ahead of us. I am looking forward to the endless moments of laughter, joy and happiness that we will share together. Moments that nothing will be able to replace. moments that will be able to remember for a lifetime :) I know that you are for me. I know that God allowed our paths to cross, I know that God has some amazing awesome plans for our lives and future together. I cannot wait to watch them unfold....
I want to continue to write the pages of our life together... the pages that have yet to be written... You hold the key to my heart and happiness.
I am thankful for the yesterdays, hopeful for the tomorrows and excited about the future....
As I continue to see all that God has done in my life since Paraguay blows me away. Paraguay will forever and always will hold a special place in my heart. I know that I will return there soon... sooner than I think... I know that God has some amazing plans... plans that I cannot even begin to understand right now... I am come so far to get where I am at right now and am beyond grateful for Gods amazing faithfulness and his endless grace that he daily shows to me.
As I end this year in 2010 I am excited to start 2011.. I am excited to get to the finish line of graduating college.. Something that last year at this time, I probably would of told you I will never graduate. Little did I know God had bigger and better plans....
So tonight I reflect.. I go back to a year ago.. I go back to where I have come from... and where I am going...
As I continue to watch the snow gently fall... I am reminded how much God truly loves me..How much he truly sees me as his daughter... He is my father. In the absence of my real father.. God is always there. There is no greater love than the love he has for me... Thank you Lord for reminding me of that. Tonight I know that through the storm there is always peace.... I will continue to climb the mountain and I will overcome.
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