A glimpse of yesterday...

I am uncertain of where to begin from.

As I look outside the window, I see the snow gently falling from the sky.. It makes me only dream and wish of the impossible. It makes me believe. Makes me believe in those moments that no one else will believe in.

What is it about snow that makes Christmas feel magical? What is it that makes you want to snuggle up with the one you love as you sit and watch the snow fall... What is that makes the snow seem so pure, innocent and free... What is it that makes snow so beautiful in every form... What is it that makes me love the snow...

I can't believe today is already December 12... only 13 more days until Christmas... where has the time gone.. I really don't know.

Lately my mind has been bombarded with many emotions and feelings that I have been uncertain of what to do with...

Last year at this time, I found myself surrounded by 30 kids....spending my nights on a bench looking at the stars and talking to the one person who truly holds the key to my happiness.....spending my days working and playing with kids....shopping in markets.... drinking tons of Guarna...... and eating some awesome food....making lasting memories with some amazing people.... and allowing God to touch the very depths of my heart and soul.... Last Year I found myself in Asuncion, Paraguay.... Tonight I wish i was back there again...

It is truly hard for me to grasp that a year has passed. Where does the time go.....Not only is it a year later, but I am a year into dating my best friend, my soul mate and just a few short months away from finishing my undergrad college experience :) WOW....

This past Wednesday was the official year mark for me and Tyler, along with a year since we went to Paraguay. Throughout this year there has been many ups, downs, twists, turns, accomplishments, disappointments, challenges, new beginnings, new hopes, new dreams, and so much more. It has been a year of enduring and learning what it truly means to Love. Learning what it means to be in a relationship with the one you love, with the one that has captured every part of your heart and soul. The one who just has to look at you and it literally lights up your life.
It was a year of tears and laughter. A year of good days and some bad. Through it all I have learned so much about myself. I have been stretched on every angle, I have been challenged and changed and the absolute best has been brought out in me.

I have learned how to love and be loved. I have learned how to let go and to be free. I have learned how to run hard after your dreams. I have learned to be all that you can be, to not doubt myself. I have learned to see beyond the "little window pane" but to look through the "entire window" to see the big picture....

I am thankful. I am thankful for this past year to be with my best friend, to learn how to love and how to be loved. To learn that God truly did hear every prayer I prayed, every tear I cried and every hearts desire I ever had. God has blown me away with his amazing faithfulness. Tyler I love you. I love you today, tomorrow and forever. We have learned a lot together and grown more than I thought. I am looking forward to all the years that are ahead of us. I am looking forward to the endless moments of laughter, joy and happiness that we will share together. Moments that nothing will be able to replace. moments that will be able to remember for a lifetime :) I know that you are for me. I know that God allowed our paths to cross, I know that God has some amazing awesome plans for our lives and future together. I cannot wait to watch them unfold....

I want to continue to write the pages of our life together... the pages that have yet to be written... You hold the key to my heart and happiness.

I am thankful for the yesterdays, hopeful for the tomorrows and excited about the future....


As I continue to see all that God has done in my life since Paraguay blows me away. Paraguay will forever and always will hold a special place in my heart. I know that I will return there soon... sooner than I think... I know that God has some amazing plans... plans that I cannot even begin to understand right now... I am come so far to get where I am at right now and am beyond grateful for Gods amazing faithfulness and his endless grace that he daily shows to me.

As I end this year in 2010 I am excited to start 2011.. I am excited to get to the finish line of graduating college.. Something that last year at this time, I probably would of told you I will never graduate. Little did I know God had bigger and better plans....

So tonight I reflect.. I go back to a year ago.. I go back to where I have come from... and where I am going...

As I continue to watch the snow gently fall... I am reminded how much God truly loves me..How much he truly sees me as his daughter... He is my father. In the absence of my real father.. God is always there. There is no greater love than the love he has for me... Thank you Lord for reminding me of that. Tonight I know that through the storm there is always peace.... I will continue to climb the mountain and I will overcome.

I'm dreaming of a.....

Well Today is already December 4th....
I can't believe that. Almost a year ago I was preparing to head to Paraguay... Now it is already a year later... I seriously don't know where the time goes... Sometimes it can be very overwhelming... But I love to look back and reflect over the past year... where I have been... what I have accomplished and where I am headed :) So much has happened over this past year and for each part of my life that has changed I am beyond grateful, happy, excited and dreaming of what is to come...

I think as it begins to get closer to the holidays, I find myself thinking about family and friends.. wishing that we lived closer... Sometimes being in a single parent family can have its downfalls. I love my little family and am blessed beyond anything in this world but sometimes it is just depressing, especially around the holidays. This year it will just be me and my mom for Christmas..... I have told nobody how hard this is for me... how hard it is that my brother will not be here.. nor my grandparents. I don't want to talk about it a lot because I know that it is hard for my mom... I just stay strong for the both of us... But sometimes the overwhelming feelings and waves of sadness hit me... this is one of those moments...

Christmas as a child was and still is my favorite time. I miss waking up and having my brother by my side or spending Christmas morning with him and Emily.. Times and Life changes we must adjust... sometimes it is very hard.... I see my other friends who have huge families that live all in the same vicinity and it is very hard for me because I long for that more than anything in this world... One day I hope to have that :)

However I am thankful for an amazing, beautiful, faithful mother who has sacrificed so much for me and my brother. Has kept not only the foundations of God in our lives but the traditions we did as a family have still been much apart of who we are. I am thankful and grateful in so many ways. It may just be the two of us, but the two of us will and always can make the best of it :)


On another note......... I can say that I have finished up my last Fall semester at Lee University as an undergrad... I must say it feels AMAZING. It is crazy to think I am about to graduate from college in a little over 5 months :) :) God you have been so faithful. Thank you for walking me through this journey hand in hand and directing my each and every step. You are forever
faithful.


I am excited to begin the next chapter of my life. I am ready for new beginnings...change... moving forward. :)

I am dreaming...and will continue to dream big :)