It's been a while since my last blog, I thought it was time to give a little update.
Over the last six years, I have been traveling a journey that I never thought or imagined myself traveling. However through it all I have had some of the most challenging but yet greatest moments of my life.
Six years ago and within 2 months after graduating high school and 3 months after signing a full ride 4 year soccer scholarhsip to Bryan College, I was diagnosed with Auto-immune hepatitis which is where your body thinks your liver is a foreign cell and destroys itself.. This was a complete devastation to not only myself but my family as well. There was no explanation to how or why I contracted this rare disease. After spending 10 days in the hospital and having every test run in the book, they could find nothing wrong, mainly because I HAD NO SYMPTOMS whatsoever, besides my eyes and skin turning yellow. My doctors told me six years ago, that I was at deaths door, with my liver levels being in the 1500's and the normal is 40, the options were either a liver transplant or steroids and a immune suppressant which created my body to not be able to fight off infections like it should. I opted out of the liver transplants and started medication immediately. The doctors said there was no cure for what I had, and that I should of been in a coma already. However I serve a God that is more mighty and powerful than any doctor, or nurse. Even though in that moment my life changed forever, as I heard the words "you can no longer play soccer at the college level" which rang in my ear over and over again. As I heard the words" we don't know what tomorrow will hold"... I began to pray harder and harder. I knew I would fight this battle until I saw my victory. So My journey began...... My Faithful Journey..
To all my Family, friends, and people that have come across my path during this journey. I just want to express my gratitude and thanks for the many prayers, support, love, Encouragement, and countless moments of joy, peace, comfort and laughter than you brought to my life. I am forever grateful. But more than anything I want to thank the one person who has walked this journey with me, who has carried the load when I couldn't, who has cried with me, laughed with me, prayed for me and with me, encouraged me when I wanted to give up, loved me unconditionally, supported me, was always there as my friend but also my Mother. Thank you Mom. You are my rock, I admire your strentgh, dignity, and integrity that you show each and everyday. I love you more than words can say.
Now here I am six years later..... I have graduated from college with a B.S in Human Development and will graduate again this July with my Masters in Teaching. After 2 and half years of dating I am engaged to my best friend. To the very man of my dreams that I never thought I would find. I thought that my hopes, dreams, and prayers of waiting for the one, for the one who had saved himself as I have for him would be an impossibility. But I was wrong on all levels. While on my faithful journey that God had allowed me and chose for me to travel down. I met a young man on a trip to Paraguay that changed my life forever, not just the trip but the people. Tyler captured my heart and I knew in the beginning moments of meeting him that I would marry him one day. I am blessed, happy, and honored that I have a man that loves me unconditionally, but more than anything that I have man that loves God with all his heart and seeks his face. So I am counting down the days until I say 'I DO"... In just a short 7 months I will marry my best friend in all the world. God is faithful!
Well as I am beginning the next chapter of my life and I am turning the pages in my book I am reminded of this journey that I have traveled over these past several years, There have been countless moments when I have wanted to give up, when I didn't think I could keep going. There were days and sometimes still have been days that I would question God as to why? Why me? Why do I have this disease that literally turned my life upside down, but at the same time changed my life in so many ways that has helped to shape and mold me into the woman of God I am today. There were many times throughout this journey where doctors said you wont make it, you should be in a coma, you'll never get over this disease, and that they really had no answers. But For 6 years I have prayed, and prayed and prayed. My mom has prayed, my grandmother, my brother, my sister, my friends, and countless people have spent hours, days, months, and years praying for me. Praying for my life. Praying for my healing. In the midst of this journey there have been countless people that have given me words of encouragement, and prayed over my life, through these prayers and moments God promised me my healing. He told me that it would not come in my timing but that I would see my complete healing but I had to TRUST God and I had to let him be my friend. This was a very hard thing to do at times, trust is never easy. Trust isn't easy when the outcomes seem the opposite, but yet in the midst of the BIGGEST or SMALLEST storm, we must trust God, because he will never fail us, but he is always faithful. Sometimes when it rains in pours, and sometimes when in rains you must not wait for the storm to pass, but you must get out and DANCE in the rain. Many days I just had to dance.
I can stand before you today and attest to God's amazing, incredible faithfulness, as well as God's impeccable timing. Today I can FINALLY say that I AM NO LONGER ON ANY MEDICATION AT ALL FOR MY LIVER, AND MY LEVELS HAVE ALMOST BEEN NORMAL FOR A LITTLE OVER A YEAR!!!!!!!! This is God's amazing faithfulness in my life. There are no words other than FAITHFUL. I told my mom just the other day that so many things have been falling into place my life already in this new year. The number 12 represents foundation! I said I believe that this is my year. That the foundation of my life is beginning again, as I begin a new chapter of marriage and teaching and life with my best friend. This is the foundation of my life and it is beginning with God's promises of healing unfolding before my very eyes! It may seem my faithful journey is coming to an end, but yet it is just beginning. God has been preparing me for the amazing things that are ahead. I know that one day I will share my testimony to the nations. I know that as I continue to write my story each day, as I continue to leave the footprints of my life wherever I go, I know that God has called me to testify of his greatness and to share My Story. My Journey. My FAITHFUL JOURNEY!!!
I leave you with this song that has carried me though some of the deepest darkest hours.
Desert Song by: Hillsong
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Mercies in Disguise
Where do I even begin from...
So many thoughts...
so many emotions..
so many differnt feelings surrounding me that I am not sure that words could even express the true depths of my heart....
Let me back up to about a couple weeks ago and share with you a piece of my heart...
On April 27, 2011 my community, my friends, and my familes world was turned upside down when Bradley County was hit by 4 EF4 Tornados. Up until 8 years ago, I used to call Deltona , Florida my home...My home is now here in Cleveland, TN. I was born and raised in Florida and lived there for 15 years. I lived through numerous tornados and hurricanes. I can honestly say that I have NEVER seen anything like what I saw on April 27th....
My eyes were awakend to devetsation that truly looked like a third world country..... I have taken several missons trips out of the country and have seen great devestation. However This devestation was like no other, but rather unbelievable. It't the kind of devestation that doesn't seem to get better as the weeks pass and some areas have been cleared.... It's the kind of devestation that everyday that I drive by houses and down streets where there is nothing left but rubble, my heart is once again broken all over again. When i continue to see people walk through the office doors listening to their stories and seeing the tears roll down there face, my heart is broken all over. When I watch news reports of familes who lost moms, dads, children, grandmas grandpas, aunts, uncles, cousins... my heart is broken all over again. When I see familes and individuals struggling to find a sense of who they are, what they are supposed to do and where they are supposed to go from here, my heart is broken all over again..
Despite the devestation...the brokeness...the hopeless...I have sensed, seen, and felt the amazing love and faithfulness of an incredible God.
So many thoughts...
so many emotions..
so many differnt feelings surrounding me that I am not sure that words could even express the true depths of my heart....
Let me back up to about a couple weeks ago and share with you a piece of my heart...
On April 27, 2011 my community, my friends, and my familes world was turned upside down when Bradley County was hit by 4 EF4 Tornados. Up until 8 years ago, I used to call Deltona , Florida my home...My home is now here in Cleveland, TN. I was born and raised in Florida and lived there for 15 years. I lived through numerous tornados and hurricanes. I can honestly say that I have NEVER seen anything like what I saw on April 27th....
My eyes were awakend to devetsation that truly looked like a third world country..... I have taken several missons trips out of the country and have seen great devestation. However This devestation was like no other, but rather unbelievable. It't the kind of devestation that doesn't seem to get better as the weeks pass and some areas have been cleared.... It's the kind of devestation that everyday that I drive by houses and down streets where there is nothing left but rubble, my heart is once again broken all over again. When i continue to see people walk through the office doors listening to their stories and seeing the tears roll down there face, my heart is broken all over. When I watch news reports of familes who lost moms, dads, children, grandmas grandpas, aunts, uncles, cousins... my heart is broken all over again. When I see familes and individuals struggling to find a sense of who they are, what they are supposed to do and where they are supposed to go from here, my heart is broken all over again..
Despite the devestation...the brokeness...the hopeless...I have sensed, seen, and felt the amazing love and faithfulness of an incredible God.
Monday, February 28, 2011
This is my Awakening...
I realized that time has slipped through my fingers once again. This will be my first post since the New Year!
This New Year has already brought about so many changes in my life. Not to mention tomorrow is March 1st, which means that in about a week I will be exactly 2 months from graduating college. Is this surreal or what....
I can't believe that I am already 3 months into the new semester, and I thought it was going to go by slow, exactly the opposite. This has been my busiest semester yet, and I thought it would be my easiest. Little did I know it has probably been my most challenging semester yet. There are days that I feel I can't even breathe because I am so overwhelmed but I know that to whom much is given much is required. However in the end I know that when I walk across that stage, I will look back and say to myself that it was worth every bit of the 5 years of pain, tears, joy, accomplishments, lack of sleep, friendships, opportunities, lessons learned, mountains climbed and the amazing faithfulness of God.
To know that I have made it this far, makes me as excited as I was when I was a kid on Christmas eve and Santa was coming, so excited that all I want to do is scream, dance, shout and jump up and down. I have almost made it, for that I am thankful.
But my journey does not stop there, once I graduate I will be on my way to brighter and bigger. The thought of still being in school for another 14 months kinda makes me want to vomit in my mouth. I NEVER thought I would actually go on to get my Masters in Education as soon as I graduated college. There are days that I think to myself " I'am insane... but then again I know that it will be worth every second of it. It is a dream of mine that I will accomplish and to think that I have come this far, what is just a little bit more. God has not given me anything that I can not handle.
As I think back on my 5 year college journey from Bryan to Lee, I am amazed at all that God has done. One thing I know, is that God has prepared me for this even more than I ever knew. There are still days that I want to question and ask why, but I know that God has bigger plans than I can maybe see right now. I will never forget the words my pastor's wife in Florida said to me several years ago, and that was " God has chosen you, he has chosen you even in the midst of this sickness because he knew that you could handle it, he knew that you could carry this burden and that you would be an overcomer and a testimony to all you saw you"... I must say those words resound in my mind, almost on a weekly or monthly basis depending on the season and the moments that I'm facing in my life at that time. I am thankful for every storm, battle and mountain I have faced.
I am ready to face the world. I am ready to being life. I am ready for my future. I am ready to move into all that God has in store.
As I sit in my middle-school life group class teaching young girls at church, I am thankful and speechless. Thankful to have the opportunity to speak into the lives of these very girls, knowing that every word I say, every action I take, every move I make can change the very life and outcome of each and every girl that walks through the doors of my classroom. To be given the opportunity to share my story and my life knowing that I am a walking testimony because of the amazing faithfulness of God. My story is a light in a dark world.
My eyes have been awakened to the struggles and the battles that these young girls and boys are facing each and every day. To the battles that those who are in poverty are facing. To the struggles that single moms are facing. To the mountains that the homeless have to daily climb, to the obstacles that troubled teens are fighting against. My eyes have been awakened to a world that needs an "Awakening" To a world that needs to be broken and humbled. To a world that needs to be changed. My feet are stepping into places that I never thought they would step. Each step I take is one step more into the lives of the broken, the hurting, the hopeless, it is one more step that is shedding hope, light, faith, and is becoming my daily hearts cry....
My hearts cry when I was just a young girl, was to go to the Nations... well right now the Nations are at my backdoor step. The Nations are across the tracks, the Nations are the everyday people that I pass in the hallways, in the aisles, in the lines, in the schools and in the streets. These are the nations, the nations that are surrounding me. This is my awakening...
"For You and You alone
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, Let Your will be done in me
Like the rising sun that shines
From the darkness comes a light
I hear Your voice and this is my awakening"
This New Year has already brought about so many changes in my life. Not to mention tomorrow is March 1st, which means that in about a week I will be exactly 2 months from graduating college. Is this surreal or what....
I can't believe that I am already 3 months into the new semester, and I thought it was going to go by slow, exactly the opposite. This has been my busiest semester yet, and I thought it would be my easiest. Little did I know it has probably been my most challenging semester yet. There are days that I feel I can't even breathe because I am so overwhelmed but I know that to whom much is given much is required. However in the end I know that when I walk across that stage, I will look back and say to myself that it was worth every bit of the 5 years of pain, tears, joy, accomplishments, lack of sleep, friendships, opportunities, lessons learned, mountains climbed and the amazing faithfulness of God.
To know that I have made it this far, makes me as excited as I was when I was a kid on Christmas eve and Santa was coming, so excited that all I want to do is scream, dance, shout and jump up and down. I have almost made it, for that I am thankful.
But my journey does not stop there, once I graduate I will be on my way to brighter and bigger. The thought of still being in school for another 14 months kinda makes me want to vomit in my mouth. I NEVER thought I would actually go on to get my Masters in Education as soon as I graduated college. There are days that I think to myself " I'am insane... but then again I know that it will be worth every second of it. It is a dream of mine that I will accomplish and to think that I have come this far, what is just a little bit more. God has not given me anything that I can not handle.
As I think back on my 5 year college journey from Bryan to Lee, I am amazed at all that God has done. One thing I know, is that God has prepared me for this even more than I ever knew. There are still days that I want to question and ask why, but I know that God has bigger plans than I can maybe see right now. I will never forget the words my pastor's wife in Florida said to me several years ago, and that was " God has chosen you, he has chosen you even in the midst of this sickness because he knew that you could handle it, he knew that you could carry this burden and that you would be an overcomer and a testimony to all you saw you"... I must say those words resound in my mind, almost on a weekly or monthly basis depending on the season and the moments that I'm facing in my life at that time. I am thankful for every storm, battle and mountain I have faced.
I am ready to face the world. I am ready to being life. I am ready for my future. I am ready to move into all that God has in store.
As I sit in my middle-school life group class teaching young girls at church, I am thankful and speechless. Thankful to have the opportunity to speak into the lives of these very girls, knowing that every word I say, every action I take, every move I make can change the very life and outcome of each and every girl that walks through the doors of my classroom. To be given the opportunity to share my story and my life knowing that I am a walking testimony because of the amazing faithfulness of God. My story is a light in a dark world.
My eyes have been awakened to the struggles and the battles that these young girls and boys are facing each and every day. To the battles that those who are in poverty are facing. To the struggles that single moms are facing. To the mountains that the homeless have to daily climb, to the obstacles that troubled teens are fighting against. My eyes have been awakened to a world that needs an "Awakening" To a world that needs to be broken and humbled. To a world that needs to be changed. My feet are stepping into places that I never thought they would step. Each step I take is one step more into the lives of the broken, the hurting, the hopeless, it is one more step that is shedding hope, light, faith, and is becoming my daily hearts cry....
My hearts cry when I was just a young girl, was to go to the Nations... well right now the Nations are at my backdoor step. The Nations are across the tracks, the Nations are the everyday people that I pass in the hallways, in the aisles, in the lines, in the schools and in the streets. These are the nations, the nations that are surrounding me. This is my awakening...
"For You and You alone
Awake my soul, awake my soul and sing
For the world You love
Your will be done, Let Your will be done in me
Like the rising sun that shines
From the darkness comes a light
I hear Your voice and this is my awakening"
Sunday, December 12, 2010
A glimpse of yesterday...
I am uncertain of where to begin from.
As I look outside the window, I see the snow gently falling from the sky.. It makes me only dream and wish of the impossible. It makes me believe. Makes me believe in those moments that no one else will believe in.
What is it about snow that makes Christmas feel magical? What is it that makes you want to snuggle up with the one you love as you sit and watch the snow fall... What is that makes the snow seem so pure, innocent and free... What is it that makes snow so beautiful in every form... What is it that makes me love the snow...
I can't believe today is already December 12... only 13 more days until Christmas... where has the time gone.. I really don't know.
Lately my mind has been bombarded with many emotions and feelings that I have been uncertain of what to do with...
Last year at this time, I found myself surrounded by 30 kids....spending my nights on a bench looking at the stars and talking to the one person who truly holds the key to my happiness.....spending my days working and playing with kids....shopping in markets.... drinking tons of Guarna...... and eating some awesome food....making lasting memories with some amazing people.... and allowing God to touch the very depths of my heart and soul.... Last Year I found myself in Asuncion, Paraguay.... Tonight I wish i was back there again...
It is truly hard for me to grasp that a year has passed. Where does the time go.....Not only is it a year later, but I am a year into dating my best friend, my soul mate and just a few short months away from finishing my undergrad college experience :) WOW....
This past Wednesday was the official year mark for me and Tyler, along with a year since we went to Paraguay. Throughout this year there has been many ups, downs, twists, turns, accomplishments, disappointments, challenges, new beginnings, new hopes, new dreams, and so much more. It has been a year of enduring and learning what it truly means to Love. Learning what it means to be in a relationship with the one you love, with the one that has captured every part of your heart and soul. The one who just has to look at you and it literally lights up your life.
It was a year of tears and laughter. A year of good days and some bad. Through it all I have learned so much about myself. I have been stretched on every angle, I have been challenged and changed and the absolute best has been brought out in me.
I have learned how to love and be loved. I have learned how to let go and to be free. I have learned how to run hard after your dreams. I have learned to be all that you can be, to not doubt myself. I have learned to see beyond the "little window pane" but to look through the "entire window" to see the big picture....
I am thankful. I am thankful for this past year to be with my best friend, to learn how to love and how to be loved. To learn that God truly did hear every prayer I prayed, every tear I cried and every hearts desire I ever had. God has blown me away with his amazing faithfulness. Tyler I love you. I love you today, tomorrow and forever. We have learned a lot together and grown more than I thought. I am looking forward to all the years that are ahead of us. I am looking forward to the endless moments of laughter, joy and happiness that we will share together. Moments that nothing will be able to replace. moments that will be able to remember for a lifetime :) I know that you are for me. I know that God allowed our paths to cross, I know that God has some amazing awesome plans for our lives and future together. I cannot wait to watch them unfold....
I want to continue to write the pages of our life together... the pages that have yet to be written... You hold the key to my heart and happiness.
I am thankful for the yesterdays, hopeful for the tomorrows and excited about the future....
As I continue to see all that God has done in my life since Paraguay blows me away. Paraguay will forever and always will hold a special place in my heart. I know that I will return there soon... sooner than I think... I know that God has some amazing plans... plans that I cannot even begin to understand right now... I am come so far to get where I am at right now and am beyond grateful for Gods amazing faithfulness and his endless grace that he daily shows to me.
As I end this year in 2010 I am excited to start 2011.. I am excited to get to the finish line of graduating college.. Something that last year at this time, I probably would of told you I will never graduate. Little did I know God had bigger and better plans....
So tonight I reflect.. I go back to a year ago.. I go back to where I have come from... and where I am going...
As I continue to watch the snow gently fall... I am reminded how much God truly loves me..How much he truly sees me as his daughter... He is my father. In the absence of my real father.. God is always there. There is no greater love than the love he has for me... Thank you Lord for reminding me of that. Tonight I know that through the storm there is always peace.... I will continue to climb the mountain and I will overcome.
As I look outside the window, I see the snow gently falling from the sky.. It makes me only dream and wish of the impossible. It makes me believe. Makes me believe in those moments that no one else will believe in.
What is it about snow that makes Christmas feel magical? What is it that makes you want to snuggle up with the one you love as you sit and watch the snow fall... What is that makes the snow seem so pure, innocent and free... What is it that makes snow so beautiful in every form... What is it that makes me love the snow...
I can't believe today is already December 12... only 13 more days until Christmas... where has the time gone.. I really don't know.
Lately my mind has been bombarded with many emotions and feelings that I have been uncertain of what to do with...
Last year at this time, I found myself surrounded by 30 kids....spending my nights on a bench looking at the stars and talking to the one person who truly holds the key to my happiness.....spending my days working and playing with kids....shopping in markets.... drinking tons of Guarna...... and eating some awesome food....making lasting memories with some amazing people.... and allowing God to touch the very depths of my heart and soul.... Last Year I found myself in Asuncion, Paraguay.... Tonight I wish i was back there again...
It is truly hard for me to grasp that a year has passed. Where does the time go.....Not only is it a year later, but I am a year into dating my best friend, my soul mate and just a few short months away from finishing my undergrad college experience :) WOW....
This past Wednesday was the official year mark for me and Tyler, along with a year since we went to Paraguay. Throughout this year there has been many ups, downs, twists, turns, accomplishments, disappointments, challenges, new beginnings, new hopes, new dreams, and so much more. It has been a year of enduring and learning what it truly means to Love. Learning what it means to be in a relationship with the one you love, with the one that has captured every part of your heart and soul. The one who just has to look at you and it literally lights up your life.
It was a year of tears and laughter. A year of good days and some bad. Through it all I have learned so much about myself. I have been stretched on every angle, I have been challenged and changed and the absolute best has been brought out in me.
I have learned how to love and be loved. I have learned how to let go and to be free. I have learned how to run hard after your dreams. I have learned to be all that you can be, to not doubt myself. I have learned to see beyond the "little window pane" but to look through the "entire window" to see the big picture....
I am thankful. I am thankful for this past year to be with my best friend, to learn how to love and how to be loved. To learn that God truly did hear every prayer I prayed, every tear I cried and every hearts desire I ever had. God has blown me away with his amazing faithfulness. Tyler I love you. I love you today, tomorrow and forever. We have learned a lot together and grown more than I thought. I am looking forward to all the years that are ahead of us. I am looking forward to the endless moments of laughter, joy and happiness that we will share together. Moments that nothing will be able to replace. moments that will be able to remember for a lifetime :) I know that you are for me. I know that God allowed our paths to cross, I know that God has some amazing awesome plans for our lives and future together. I cannot wait to watch them unfold....
I want to continue to write the pages of our life together... the pages that have yet to be written... You hold the key to my heart and happiness.
I am thankful for the yesterdays, hopeful for the tomorrows and excited about the future....
As I continue to see all that God has done in my life since Paraguay blows me away. Paraguay will forever and always will hold a special place in my heart. I know that I will return there soon... sooner than I think... I know that God has some amazing plans... plans that I cannot even begin to understand right now... I am come so far to get where I am at right now and am beyond grateful for Gods amazing faithfulness and his endless grace that he daily shows to me.
As I end this year in 2010 I am excited to start 2011.. I am excited to get to the finish line of graduating college.. Something that last year at this time, I probably would of told you I will never graduate. Little did I know God had bigger and better plans....
So tonight I reflect.. I go back to a year ago.. I go back to where I have come from... and where I am going...
As I continue to watch the snow gently fall... I am reminded how much God truly loves me..How much he truly sees me as his daughter... He is my father. In the absence of my real father.. God is always there. There is no greater love than the love he has for me... Thank you Lord for reminding me of that. Tonight I know that through the storm there is always peace.... I will continue to climb the mountain and I will overcome.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
I'm dreaming of a.....
Well Today is already December 4th....
I can't believe that. Almost a year ago I was preparing to head to Paraguay... Now it is already a year later... I seriously don't know where the time goes... Sometimes it can be very overwhelming... But I love to look back and reflect over the past year... where I have been... what I have accomplished and where I am headed :) So much has happened over this past year and for each part of my life that has changed I am beyond grateful, happy, excited and dreaming of what is to come...
I think as it begins to get closer to the holidays, I find myself thinking about family and friends.. wishing that we lived closer... Sometimes being in a single parent family can have its downfalls. I love my little family and am blessed beyond anything in this world but sometimes it is just depressing, especially around the holidays. This year it will just be me and my mom for Christmas..... I have told nobody how hard this is for me... how hard it is that my brother will not be here.. nor my grandparents. I don't want to talk about it a lot because I know that it is hard for my mom... I just stay strong for the both of us... But sometimes the overwhelming feelings and waves of sadness hit me... this is one of those moments...
Christmas as a child was and still is my favorite time. I miss waking up and having my brother by my side or spending Christmas morning with him and Emily.. Times and Life changes we must adjust... sometimes it is very hard.... I see my other friends who have huge families that live all in the same vicinity and it is very hard for me because I long for that more than anything in this world... One day I hope to have that :)
However I am thankful for an amazing, beautiful, faithful mother who has sacrificed so much for me and my brother. Has kept not only the foundations of God in our lives but the traditions we did as a family have still been much apart of who we are. I am thankful and grateful in so many ways. It may just be the two of us, but the two of us will and always can make the best of it :)
On another note......... I can say that I have finished up my last Fall semester at Lee University as an undergrad... I must say it feels AMAZING. It is crazy to think I am about to graduate from college in a little over 5 months :) :) God you have been so faithful. Thank you for walking me through this journey hand in hand and directing my each and every step. You are forever
faithful.
I am excited to begin the next chapter of my life. I am ready for new beginnings...change... moving forward. :)
I am dreaming...and will continue to dream big :)
I can't believe that. Almost a year ago I was preparing to head to Paraguay... Now it is already a year later... I seriously don't know where the time goes... Sometimes it can be very overwhelming... But I love to look back and reflect over the past year... where I have been... what I have accomplished and where I am headed :) So much has happened over this past year and for each part of my life that has changed I am beyond grateful, happy, excited and dreaming of what is to come...
I think as it begins to get closer to the holidays, I find myself thinking about family and friends.. wishing that we lived closer... Sometimes being in a single parent family can have its downfalls. I love my little family and am blessed beyond anything in this world but sometimes it is just depressing, especially around the holidays. This year it will just be me and my mom for Christmas..... I have told nobody how hard this is for me... how hard it is that my brother will not be here.. nor my grandparents. I don't want to talk about it a lot because I know that it is hard for my mom... I just stay strong for the both of us... But sometimes the overwhelming feelings and waves of sadness hit me... this is one of those moments...
Christmas as a child was and still is my favorite time. I miss waking up and having my brother by my side or spending Christmas morning with him and Emily.. Times and Life changes we must adjust... sometimes it is very hard.... I see my other friends who have huge families that live all in the same vicinity and it is very hard for me because I long for that more than anything in this world... One day I hope to have that :)
However I am thankful for an amazing, beautiful, faithful mother who has sacrificed so much for me and my brother. Has kept not only the foundations of God in our lives but the traditions we did as a family have still been much apart of who we are. I am thankful and grateful in so many ways. It may just be the two of us, but the two of us will and always can make the best of it :)
On another note......... I can say that I have finished up my last Fall semester at Lee University as an undergrad... I must say it feels AMAZING. It is crazy to think I am about to graduate from college in a little over 5 months :) :) God you have been so faithful. Thank you for walking me through this journey hand in hand and directing my each and every step. You are forever
faithful.
I am excited to begin the next chapter of my life. I am ready for new beginnings...change... moving forward. :)
I am dreaming...and will continue to dream big :)
Friday, November 5, 2010
Remembering...Reminiscing..Reflecting...
Well ok it has been way to long since I last posted. I figured it was time to get back in the groove of things :)
I have missed this. At lot has happened in the past 5 months, to much to write. So I will begin with now. I am 3 days shy from turning 23 and I have a lot of emotions surrounding me.
Emotions of I'm not a kid anymore... and there are days I would give anything to be a kid again....feelings of sadness and excitement as I am entering my last and final semester as an undergrad....remembering my papa who died 23 years ago on Sunday.... Just reminiscing. Sometimes it is good to look back.. to reflect.. to remember where you were a year ago... 5 years ago.. and to see where you have come from, what you have overcome and who you have become! As I reflect back I can still say that my GOD is a FAITHFUL GOD!
It blows my mind away that I will be 23. I feel as though I just moved here... which was almost 8 years ago. I remember when I was little my Neena always told me " just wait until you get older, time will fly by" man was she ever correct. I don't know where the time has gone. To think I am already 3 years into my 20's about to graduate college and start my Master's... and then on to get engaged and married in the next 2 years! Life is changing in so many wonderful, exciting and overwhelming ways :)
I am thankful for life, as I think back on my 23 years I have so much to be thankful for. I have an amazing mother who has instilled in me a foundation that can never be broken. A mother who has made some of the biggest sacrifices for her children that I have never known mothers to do. A mother who has loved unconditionally. A mother who has prayed on her hands and knees from the moment we were born for her children's lives. A mother who above all else is my forever friend, someone whom I admire and hold dear to my heart in so many ways. I am thankful and blessed.
I am thankful for an amazing brother, and fatherly figure in my life who has been that guiding and helping hand along the way. Who has made me laugh until I pee my pants and has wiped my tears as he held my hand, who has helped me through failures and accomplishments and who has been my forever friend.
I am thankful for the amazing friends and family he has placed in my life. Sometimes God allows certain people to come into your life at just the right season. He has placed certain people along my path at the most divine time and allowed me to see once again his amazing faithfulness that he pours out on us daily.
I am thankful for my absolute amazing best friend and man in my life, Tyler. I think I thank God for him everyday. He is an answer to every prayer I have prayed, every tear I have cried, every dream I have dreamed and every hope I have ever had. He is "The one", he is a man of God. We are about to celebrate a year together and I could not be more happy. I don't say it enough but he is my other half, he makes my world go round and God knew what he was doing when he placed us in each other's lives almost a year ago next week! God is one amazing and timeless God!.... :)
As i think on these things. I am thankful. As this is the month to be thankful, I feel extra thankful and extra blessed this year.
So many new windows of opportunity that have been given to me, so many blessings, so many dreams being fulfilled and passions that are being ignited. I am excited to see where God continues to take me as I finally being to finish out this journey of life that he has placed me on.
I remember saying when i was younger Lord send me to the nations, for this is the cry of my heart. let me change the lives of the hurting and the broken.... Well God is sending me to just that with what is right on my back door step. I feel God's calling on my life being broadened and expanded into the bigger picture that he had placed before me a long time ago. I see new directions and new hopes that are being lived out and I see God moving mountains and placing me in places that I never thought I would be in but places that I can't imagine being without.
I will move ahead bold and confident
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I have missed this. At lot has happened in the past 5 months, to much to write. So I will begin with now. I am 3 days shy from turning 23 and I have a lot of emotions surrounding me.
Emotions of I'm not a kid anymore... and there are days I would give anything to be a kid again....feelings of sadness and excitement as I am entering my last and final semester as an undergrad....remembering my papa who died 23 years ago on Sunday.... Just reminiscing. Sometimes it is good to look back.. to reflect.. to remember where you were a year ago... 5 years ago.. and to see where you have come from, what you have overcome and who you have become! As I reflect back I can still say that my GOD is a FAITHFUL GOD!
It blows my mind away that I will be 23. I feel as though I just moved here... which was almost 8 years ago. I remember when I was little my Neena always told me " just wait until you get older, time will fly by" man was she ever correct. I don't know where the time has gone. To think I am already 3 years into my 20's about to graduate college and start my Master's... and then on to get engaged and married in the next 2 years! Life is changing in so many wonderful, exciting and overwhelming ways :)
I am thankful for life, as I think back on my 23 years I have so much to be thankful for. I have an amazing mother who has instilled in me a foundation that can never be broken. A mother who has made some of the biggest sacrifices for her children that I have never known mothers to do. A mother who has loved unconditionally. A mother who has prayed on her hands and knees from the moment we were born for her children's lives. A mother who above all else is my forever friend, someone whom I admire and hold dear to my heart in so many ways. I am thankful and blessed.
I am thankful for an amazing brother, and fatherly figure in my life who has been that guiding and helping hand along the way. Who has made me laugh until I pee my pants and has wiped my tears as he held my hand, who has helped me through failures and accomplishments and who has been my forever friend.
I am thankful for the amazing friends and family he has placed in my life. Sometimes God allows certain people to come into your life at just the right season. He has placed certain people along my path at the most divine time and allowed me to see once again his amazing faithfulness that he pours out on us daily.
I am thankful for my absolute amazing best friend and man in my life, Tyler. I think I thank God for him everyday. He is an answer to every prayer I have prayed, every tear I have cried, every dream I have dreamed and every hope I have ever had. He is "The one", he is a man of God. We are about to celebrate a year together and I could not be more happy. I don't say it enough but he is my other half, he makes my world go round and God knew what he was doing when he placed us in each other's lives almost a year ago next week! God is one amazing and timeless God!.... :)
As i think on these things. I am thankful. As this is the month to be thankful, I feel extra thankful and extra blessed this year.
So many new windows of opportunity that have been given to me, so many blessings, so many dreams being fulfilled and passions that are being ignited. I am excited to see where God continues to take me as I finally being to finish out this journey of life that he has placed me on.
I remember saying when i was younger Lord send me to the nations, for this is the cry of my heart. let me change the lives of the hurting and the broken.... Well God is sending me to just that with what is right on my back door step. I feel God's calling on my life being broadened and expanded into the bigger picture that he had placed before me a long time ago. I see new directions and new hopes that are being lived out and I see God moving mountains and placing me in places that I never thought I would be in but places that I can't imagine being without.
I will move ahead bold and confident
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
Thursday, July 8, 2010
My Best Friend.
There are many times in our lives when we pause to reflect, to remember every blessing that God has poured out, to see his faithfulness radiant in our lives, to see the places he has brought us from and the places we are going.
Today is one of those days for me. Today I pause. Today I remember the blessings God has given to me. Today I am thankful for where I came from, what I have been through and where I am going. Today I am reminded of his constant and faithful love that he pours out.
Certain experiences and times in your life are a constant reminder of his faithfulness, one of those for me would be the day that My Best Friend, My Soul Mate and My Future walked into my life. It was 8 months ago today and yet it feels like 8 years. I can remember that day as if it was yesterday! I remember the first time I ever saw him and thought to myself man he looks like one amazing man, but never thought about it much after that and went on my merry way. However, little did I know a couple months later we would become the best of friends, every dream and prayer would come true and we would begin a new joureny together!
When I look back over these past 8 months, all I can do is smile. I remember watching Tyler from a far off at church and seeing him around school, and always desired to get to know him but never did. However a door was opened and we both were participating in the Paraguay trip that his dad was directing. I remember the first night of class, it was right before my 22nd birthday, I saw him, realized who he was and once again didn't think anything about it. Well we started having classes here and there and before I knew it we were talking. If you know me, you know I am not the kind of girl to just strike up a conversation with guys, I don't open up easily and I keep my heart guarded. However with Tyler it was differnt, I knew he was differnt from the moment I saw him. There was something that clicked between me and him that I can't even explain. While in Paraguay we connected on so many differnt levels; spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physcially. I saw his heart melt as he interacted with the kids at Hogar Gonar, I saw his passions radiate as he worshipped, I saw his dreams unfold as he was walking in the calling on his life, I saw his life reflect a Godly Man. More than anything, I saw our hearts and spirits connect in such a way that it brought tears to my eyes. I saw the faithfulness of my prayers, of my hopes, of my dreams, and of the tears that I shed unfold before my very eyes. Sometimes waiting is worth the wait. Going for God's best is more than rewarding :)
As each new day comes and goes, I am more and more thankful and blessed to have Tyler in my life. I feel like I fall in love over and over again. He brings out the absolute best in me. He is my better half. He makes me laugh like no one else can, he makes me smile no matter what kind of day I'm having,and he makes me happy. I love him for the way he loves me, for the way he understands even when I think he doesn't, I love him for the way he looks at me, (as if it is the first time he has ever laid eyes on me), I love him for the way he hugs me, for the way he is not ashamed to hold my hand no matter where we go. I love him for the highs, the lows, the ups and downs, the laughter, the tears, the in-betweens and all the joys he brings. I love him for his heart of gold, for the way he loves and seeks the face of God. I love him because he is my best friend. I can't wait to watch out future unfold together and see all that God has in store. He has big plans. Thank you for being in my life. THank you for being who you are. Thank you for loving me the way you do and thank you for being my Best Friend. I love you more than words can say :)
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